He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
