he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
