Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
