so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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