I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
