i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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