you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
