my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
