then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize