Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
