five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
