READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
