Your face is a jimmy john
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
