I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize