The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
