So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
