If i come over, it means nothing
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
