That's intense
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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