just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize