Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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