sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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