it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
