I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
