I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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