butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
