I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
