So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
