party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
