sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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