I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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