dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
your like the ambassador to my penis.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
