Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
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