a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize