I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
