hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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