Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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