My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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