you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have fence marks all over my body
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
