I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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