I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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