I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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