I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
