sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
