Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
And then he peed in my hair
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