He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
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On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work