Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're a waste of cheezeits
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?