i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have fence marks all over my body
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.