is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?