Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
