Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize