uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
