Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
