party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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