His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
