You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The struggles of a small town man whore
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
