dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
