I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
