He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
