Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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