just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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