Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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