Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
