shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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