It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
