Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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