dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
