i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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