i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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